Barely Lucid

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling 8 years old – pouty, anxious, entitled, broken. Why in the strange space between dream and conscious are we at our most vulnerable? The demons seem to prowl at night – spindles and vapors colliding in atmospheres around our bodies. The strange softness of our pillows supporting such broken thoughts. If there were ever a time dreams were real and walking in the physical world – it would be here, when I feel the 4 a.m. starvation stirring and visions tunneling from my core.

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2 Responses to Barely Lucid

  1. Angella Lister says:

    oh lord, do i ever know this feeling. it is a relief when the daylight comes. dear rachel, you suffer from being a sensitive soul, and everything rises to the surface at that hour of the night. now it is daylight. please know you are not alone. much love, angella

    • rachvb says:

      I find it a relief that I can fall back asleep when this happens. Sometimes my mind can’t still itself for a few hours even though I’m exhausted and my cheeks throb. I have to pretend to know how to meditate. Listen to the cars or anything else outside of me. It eventually works. I’m used to it, knowing there’s just something in that hour that’s off balance. I doubt we are ever alone in how we feel even though it may seem that way at times.

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