Tomorrow – I’d like to go into a cabin, in the snow, in isolation, with coffee, with bread, with water, with soul, a fire in the place, the smell of smoke, feeling the drift above me. I’d like to be alone. Am I doing too much for my own good? Pushing myself to an edge? Would I fall off? Would I back away and head in another direction – West?
Give myself time and patience and minutes and you’ve done good, a pat on the back. What to do when the high is gone and you want it back? A level, another step, a bottle of wine and you think of the genes in you, the ancestry in you that drowned in wine – you see now why it can fail you, why it’s so good and then can fail you because your genes have always been too much – the make-up of you, the things you are made of, the people who made you no longer take any credit and now it’s all up to you.
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