RachelVB.com

Category: wandering mind

  • Turn off my ears

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    rachelvb
    in ,

    Sometimes I hate working at a newspaper. The police scanner in the background constantly scratching to remind you the world can be a horrible, scary, sad, dark place. There was a homicide today and the place is buzzing about it. The other week I heard over the scanner a young girl, they always describe them,…

  • Home?

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    rachelvb
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    My boyfriend says there’s no one here like us. That’s he’s sorry I don’t have a home to go home to anymore, not like the home I knew and grew up in. It’s a home, but not the same one. Will I ever feel that old place again? Does that old place even exists anymore?…

  • black pearls

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    rachelvb
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    I lied about being patient. I’m not patient anymore. Now that I’m at work I’m rocking in my chair with my witch pearl earrings on, black pearls that were a gift because I’m not all white inside. They’re the beautiful adopted daughter pearls, a bruised finger nail, a pebble pen spot that keeps bleeding onto…

  • unrelated

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    by

    rachelvb
    in ,

    I can almost sing in my car again. I can almost lift my voice high enough to sound like a real human being. I can almost belt out at the top of my lungs while people stare at me from the other lane and look away quickly like they’re seeing something they shouldn’t – me…

  • another chapter

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    rachelvb
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    I finished another journal yesterday. Another chapter to close except there’s nothing to close and everything to keep going. I’m on my last gift journal which is amazing to me because I feel like I’ve collected gift journals for years and have never been able to keep up with them, but now I am I’m…

  • crash

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    rachelvb
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    I missed the last step on the steps this morning. The mornings are so dark these days and I’m always the first one up to turn the heat up. I have to find the railing with my hand, step down the creaky wooden stairs and through the spot on the landing where the floor boards…

  • potpourri

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    rachelvb
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    I’m watching what I can of the sunrise. Pink swirls, purple cover. ribbons of light cream, there’s the blue undertone. I was greeted by the silhouette of a bird and said good morning, “you’re up early.” A squirrel scampers through the leaves I didn’t rake, but they are keeping my beds and my grass warm.…

  • shop and beer

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    rachelvb
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    I have to go shopping for work today. We do this thing every year for the holidays – we all join together in a big fuzzy, happy circle and are assigned a category, or in my case two, and pick ten of the best gifts, the best items in the valley and I go to…

  • helmet

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    rachelvb
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    It’s unseasonably warm today. record warm. I wonder what it’s going to do to the leaves. If it will turn them forward or back, prolong fall and beat winter off with a stick. I’ve been keeping an odd pace these last few weeks. Working on Saturday and then working again on Monday, but working later.…

  • buried treasure

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    by

    rachelvb
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    I’m not sure if I want to run away or stay completely still. It seems to be one of those days – neither here nor there, a chair in the corner in shadows – a little sunlight on the arms. I feel selfish and despondent and lonely and like crying and why? Today is not…