What we do seems so unnatural

Yesterday, I watched women smoking in the rain under a pine tree. Sitting and standing around a red park bench, their smoke trailing up in fingers; rain intermittently falling down like a leaky roof. I realized addiction takes a lot of commitment. When you think you need something you’ll put your body through so much discomfort. All for a taste.
People are addicted to so many things. Why is that? Cigarettes, exercise, heroin, Vicodin, love, sex, alcohol, cutting. Nothing in excess is ever good for you – not even too many strawberries. Yet, we’ll eat ourselves sick for the small moments when it feels good. And those small moments are so enigmatic, so wondrous, so freeing we almost wish they were reality. Which is why we go back again and again no matter how we feel the next hour, the next morning.
God, we are incredibly flawed beings. We have so much purpose we get lost in the potential. Sometimes I wish I were a humming bird or bee – to wake up knowing I had one goal, one job in the world: collecting nectar.

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