To the couch

I have an appointment today I’m a little nervous about. The kind where you sit with someone and they stare at you and you have to talk about your feelings. I’m worried she’ll turn me away and say there’s nothing wrong with you, I can’t help you, find someone else. I’m worried about getting to know her and having to say everything all over again. Talking alone about things can be enough for me, but to have to say it ALL over again just feels exhausting. I’m so bad at the getting to know you, the awkwardness of it all, the how will two people click and weave against each other. I’ve already planned the things I’m going to say which won’t even matter when I get there because I can’t really know anyway what I’ll say or what she’ll say. I’m feeling overly transparent today and thin-skinned.

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