I’m going to tackle some revisions. I can’t go forward if I don’t go back, I’ve decided, and back into poems that I love to make them better, stronger, piercing (I hope). I’ve tried to apply suggestions to the new drafts and I feel distrusting of myself (which is bad bad for a poet) it’s like trying to drink wine without squishing the grapes, without fermenting, without the plants, the roots, the soil. Maybe that’s a bad analogy – um, it’s like, crap, I’m drawing a blank. It’s gutting a house, the floors, the insulation fluff, the squeaky appliances and building back up – it’s polish. It’s a new hip. A filling. A new sole – so when I set them on their way again they can walk for miles and miles and miles and miles

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4 Responses to Revisions

  1. It’s like surgery for me. It hurts at first then you heal and you’re better after and you were before except part of you kind of itches a bit.

    • rachvb says:

      This was the first time I was actually MORE excited to get revisions back than ever before. Mostly, I’m terrified and last time I sent an MS to a friend that didn’t work and I cried crumpled on the floor and I think I even curled up like a baby in my boyfriend’s lap and thank god he just let me cry even though he didn’t know what the hell the problem was. No, this time it’s a thoughtful absorption – like soil seeping in water. And I know, I know, I know my work will be better for it. The past few days I’ve been trying to build up the nerve. It is itchy work. Scabs and all.

      • I think you are brave and wonderful. Most poets the grand majority don’t care you know.

        • rachvb says:

          Bravery feels more like fear. Thank you.
          I think that’s insane – to not care. And I think that’s sad. How do they expect to get better? For anyone else to care about their work if they don’t? I’ll stay on my side of the tracks.

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