Natural habitat

It’s one of those rare mornings where it’s raining. I know people flying in and out or visiting probably think “what the hell, I came to Phoenix and it’s not sunny?” But we’re getting a weekend of rain and I couldn’t be more at peace. Tonight we’re having some friends over. I’m making Smoked Chicken Corn Chowder, warming bread and we’ll drink and listen to the uncommon sounds of rain on our roof; the light outside our front door will leak, most likely burn out, but we need the darkness. We need to make happiness that’s not dependent on weather, but laughter, ourselves.
Every place I’ve lived, I’ve tried to think about what I was meant to learn there. Pennsylvania was an opening of the heart. I had to pull my voice out and open. I learned to be heard, but became dependent in the process. Which is understandable. It was scary as shit. Here, I’m learning to be alone, settled in myself, stronger. I’m learning to rely, not a group of people or even Pat, but myself and that idea doesn’t scare me so much anymore. I’m a poet. I’m a loner. But it’s natural habitat. We’re all alone and that statement shouldn’t be seen negatively. No one else can help us fill ourselves. I love and I have loved and still some part of me remains empty, but even that is natural habitat. It’s what drives me to keep my eyes open, sucking the world in, chewing it, spitting it out and in my emptiness I have found so much beauty. Not everything needs to be documented for the world. Not every sunset instagrammed. We should take in the sky, the rain as it was meant to be seen – through our eyes only. The self is still sacred.

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6 Responses to Natural habitat

  1. Ms. Moon says:

    Enjoy your rain and love your insight.

    • rachvb says:

      loving the rain, loving the rain. It’s so funny to watch the news when rain is coming. It’s like people prepare for the apocalypse or something! But the smell is wonderful. Sage and desert and dirt. Ahhh. xoxo

  2. Los Angeles does the same – STORM WATCH and a cat spits on the sidewalk. Acknowledging that I am of a different generation, or more, I fail to understand the compulsion to, as you say, document and instagram every moment of life. It does seem to me to diminish meaningful events, giving a sandwich and a sunset the same prominence. Without the interior empty space how could we move about within ourselves? That seems very wise. Not a deficit, nothing missing, but I think many among the population find it uncomfortable, unbearable, like quiet. There are lessons to be learned everywhere, always. Your awareness has taken many of us a lifetime to find. Shine on with your desert shimmer. xo

    • rachvb says:

      haha! What’s strange, is growing up, we didn’t document every sneeze either. You wanted to talk to someone you called them, you walked to their house. A photograph was a thought process. A roll of film cost money and time to shoot and produce. I wonder if our digital clutter is worse than our real clutter?? How many photos we take of people’s shoes that sit on computers for decades. It’s not physical clutter, but I think it’s still detrimental. Soul-cluttering. And I am not immune…
      I like that – the empty space gives us breathing room, wiggle room. Thank you dear, M. I’m going to keep plugging away.

  3. LtotheJ says:

    I think we all fall victim to over-documenting our lives. It’s sad … when you’re so stuck behind a camera/phone/notebook – whatever – you’re too busy to really see everything. To really experience it. Hope you enjoyed the rain. And the chicken corn chowder!!! MMMMMMmmmmm. I love that recipe. 🙂
    It’s cold and wet here and everyone is panicking about potential ice. Makes me miss my fearless winter-weather driver!! Life just isn’t as much fun when I’m in charge of my own set of wheels. 🙂 Love you, doll.

    • rachvb says:

      I understand the root of it. Everyone wants to feel important, to be seen, to feel popular. I used to take pictures at concerts constantly. And then I was like, what the hell am I doing?! No one is going to care about this, take one picture and enjoy the rest of the show with your own eyeballs!
      I’m eating the soup for lunch today =) yum yum!
      Miss you too, babes! Stop wearing heels on the ice 😉

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