Melvin

Pat and I have adopted a spider, made it our pet in the window opposite the sink. He catches fruit flies, wraps them up like eggrolls, saves them for later. I swear in one night he’s grown fat. Do spider’s poop? I guess not. This morning, I considered putting him on a diet until a fruit fly landed on my bagel. That’s not true, it didn’t land on my bagel, but it could have. One landed on my tomato yesterday.
We put a cup with cut up fresh fruit below melvin’s web, is that mean?
Pat said, our friends are going to think we are weird for keeping a pet spider which is maybe why I had a dream of a big tarantula in a cage last night. I don’t care what our friends think, they already think we are weird. We are from the WEST *enter spooky music* and we say things like “kitty-corner” and use somewhat proper grammar not “Youse guys” or “a coupletwotree” or “Heyna?”
If you’re confused (like I was) here’s a NEPAbonics tutorial:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sMI2jb16eo