*Disclaimer* – see I told you

I’m grumpy as all hell today. I’d rather curl up under my desk and collect warts and tear at the carpet with staples and paper clips and dump my coffee over and then look like a small puppy or child whose eyes say “I didn’t mean to!” but whose brains says “HAHAHAHAHA! I TOTALLY DID!”
I went to the lady doctor today (I don’t mean to bring this up because I’ve seen on Facebook sometimes women saying “Uh oh, Gynecologist today – eek – that should be fun … send me sympathetic messages about my who-ha and we’ll be better friends” and I think that’s gross – but I swear that place is a cattle farm and women are wrangled in and out of there and there are appointments on top of appointments and I was waiting for a half hour after my appointment time, so I had a lot of time to let my brain wander about what it would be like to be a lady doctor and how many damn vajajays you see all day. But then suddenly every time a girl would leave I’d see a vagina and every time an old lady would leave, I’d see a vagina and all these people are wearing tight yoga pants and uggs and vaginas. Nope, not ever could I do it. STD’s and babies and bodies and boobies and STD’S wear your gloves!
My doctor is a lesbian which I think is cool ’cause at least she knows what she’s doing down there. But I think it’s funny that I prepare for the doctor like a first date. Wax on, wax off. Men get no such treatment.