RachelVB.com

Category: wandering mind

  • There is comfort in a shot glass

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    rachelvb
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    I’ve been dealing with a very impersonal end to what was a meaningful friendship and love. The impact of this loss has hit me head on – my brain and heart have been painfully raw. I look in the mirror and a red-eyed ghoul glares back at me. I can feel my hunger fading, the…

  • Poets are everything

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    rachelvb
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    mismatched socks on clotheslines, gold flakes around the rim of a shot glass, tattoos, car fluids, cotton dust orbiting like satellites. We are failures and mechanics. We are immense sneezes and skin biters. We are compressed pieces of cork crumbling particle by particle in life’s hands. We are crock pots. We are complicated. We pick…

  • Sneeze, please

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    rachelvb
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    I’m breathing on half a nostril right now. What I originally thought was spring spawn flitting through the air ducts at work has manifested into a head cold. Either that or I’m allergic to douche bags – there’s been a lot of those around lately. It’s hard not to suck other people in when you…

  • I'm new at this – don't watch

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    rachelvb
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    I got my favorite “letter in the mail” so far last night. From a poet named Matthew Zapruder. He talks about fear when writing and how it’s supposed to be there because when you write there’s the chance you might change who you are and there’s a chance you might change who your reader is…

  • A wing trapped in dirt

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    rachelvb
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    I can’t stand that I’m here right now in front of my computer. I want to pout and hate myself and throw every awful thing I think about my work, life choices, creative abilities. My jacket smells mildewed, water-logged and dried. There are too many times I wash my clothes and leave them for days…

  • Bitty boy or girl Dotter

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    rachelvb
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    My friend Dianne is having her baby today – 3 months early. She’s been in the hospital for a month after her water broke because they needed to keep baby cooking. Lungs, heart, kidneys are pretty important for a person – even a person the size of a glow worm. I didn’t know it was…

  • I had to be sure

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    rachelvb
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    My hands smell like garlic. And I ate a banana and licked my fingers and strange things happened. Why do some flavors clash with each other? I suppose it’s the same reason some people clash with each other – born in different cycles, different dirt. Pat has the flu. I went to the store at…

  • Pearl and the Beard photos

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    rachelvb
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    I should have brought my real camera. I knew it! Damn. Oh well – the phone did ok, actually it did poorly, but we were in the first row, leaning on the stage all night and the last thing I gave a crap about what taking pictures on my phone. Damn these guys are talented.…

  • Feeders, Mutuals, Calmers

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    rachelvb
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    I’ve been dizzy for days. Riding in cars is the worst. I’d drink until I puked, but it’s in my brain, so that wouldn’t help anything especially not my brain. It’s like my eyeballs have displaced somehow. The motion is a continental shift, two frictioning plates moving to opposite poles. I’m only bitching because it’s…

  • City bound

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    rachelvb
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    It took about 10 minutes for my last post to cyberwarp. Today, my blog is acting like a little boy with short legs crossing the street. I keep pulling his arm to move faster – there are cars barreling down, trucks’ engines hack. Exhaust saturates my nose like the gas mask is slowly slooow.ly numbing…