^ A video of Jack being Jack above ^
What the hell did I take pictures of before him? I remember saying I would still talk and write about adult things. hahahaha! But I don’t really want to. Adult stuff sucks. I think the coolest thing about having a baby is the fact that I can be a kid again in some small way. I have to relearn all the songs I’ve forgotten, I’ll soon be able to play in the dirt alongside Jack. Having kids is reverting in a good way, but with responsibility. I mean, that and loving someone so much it scares you to death.
I’m in a mom’s Facebook group and someone posted about a coworker who lost her 4 month old to SIDS the other day. That’s how old Jack is. I can’t even. I can’t even go there. Becoming a mom cracks all the gates we put up to protect ourselves from getting hurt. And to be a good parent, we have to keep them open. How do you love and nurture wholly when you’re closed off? I can’t even go to the place that poor mom is writhing in now. I just can’t.
Jack is meant to be in this world. Of course he is, he’s IN this world. And I’m supposed to watch him grow up and say words. I’m supposed to hear his voice for the first time, to watch him walk, tie shoes, fall off a bike. There is too much joy in this boy. Damn, we are lucky … the lot of us.
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