Today is another night shift. I woke up too early and will definitely fall asleep at my desk once 11:15 pm rolls around. I’m still bitter about all of it, but am pretending what’s it’s like if writing were my real day job. Still in pjs, coffee mugged and scalding, a scarred banana waiting to be devoured – I made an English muffin and peanut butter and am having trouble starting, forming sentences. Can you tell?!
I’ve felt stale and dazed. Jobs, photography, writing, relationships – there’s so much effort and time in all of those things and none of them seem to be working properly. I want to fall and let fate take care of the rest. What else can I do that will give me a decent living, but writing time?
I once heard Rosie O’Donnell say (and I’m not sure why I’m quoting Rosie O’Donnell, but I am) that she never had a back-up plan so she couldn’t fail. She may not be the best example, but I would say she succeeded in what she tried to accomplish. I liked her show when it was on and she was damn good in A League of their Own. She went a little off the wagon, but celebrities are allowed to do that a few times, I think.
Maybe I should work with puppies somehow or orphans or camping or anything besides sitting on my ass all day in front of a computer. What if I could write AND do something else I love? Wouldn’t that be a concept.
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