I’m breathing on half a nostril right now. What I originally thought was spring spawn flitting through the air ducts at work has manifested into a head cold. Either that or I’m allergic to douche bags – there’s been a lot of those around lately. It’s hard not to suck other people in when you let them get close to you. Maybe that’s why writers are such loners – we can’t feel every one else’s shit while we have to deal with our own internal loose screws.
I want to take this opportunity to thank god for giving human beings more than one way to breathe. What an awful evolutionary experiment that must have been – eve gets sick, nose gets plugged, suffocation in her own body. So thanks, man. While everything else seems one gigantic failure at least I can breathe, at least for now my functioning parts will keep me alive long enough to make more mistakes in life. Maybe I’ll evolve to breathe through fingernails or armpits or ribs, but for now, I’m looking into the light hoping for a sneeze.
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