Pat and I were at the pool Saturday. I took a banana, some strawberries, Marie Claire magazine with Keira Knightly on the cover; slathered myself up in the sun. When you’re rich and make your own schedule, you can disappear in Europe for months at a time. That’s what I learned about Keira Knightly – and that I’m insanely jealous some people have freedom like that. Yes, she’s had to give up lots of other freedoms (like privacy) to accomplish such things, but stop ruining my jealous fantasies about how her life is better than mine…

“My boyfriend is a musician,” she said, “so there’s no standing still, but the thing about a walkabout is you can’t tell anyone about it or they’ll come looking. So, it will be like that [snaps her fingers], and I’ll be gone”.

I read the quote to Pat as I broke off a chunk of banana, squeezing it in my fingers.
“Do it,” he said. “I mean don’t go to Europe, but after work some Friday just don’t come home for the weekend. Don’t tell me about. Just go. Please text me maybe so I know you’re not in rapeville, but you don’t even have to say where you’re going just say ‘walkabout’ and I’ll know.”

Hasn’t this been just what I’ve wanted lately? To disappear and not tell anyone and take some spiritual journey and right myself? Cut off communication, fucking Facebook, email and just go?
So it will be like that [snaps my fingers], and I’ll be gone.

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6 Responses to Walkabout

  1. And when one is not an internationally-known face, one can truly dissolve into the landscape. Pat is so supportive, so gets it. Whatever it is you seek, I know it’s there, you are on exactly the right track. Keep listening, keep finding the encoded clues in unexpected places. I wish I’d been as wise at your age. Blessings. xo

    • rachvb says:

      Sometimes I feel like I’m always seeking something and never find the answer – or maybe I’ve been seeking one all encompassing thing and it is still unknown? We are all living blind, it seems. Thank you. I will try: to keep listening and finding clues. What I love about Pat is we both understand what it means to be an individual in a relationship. We don’t get jealous or hurt when the other one needs to do something alone. We get it.

  2. LtotheJ says:

    Wanna walkabout Dallas with me? I’m practically off the grid out here …
    And I won’t tell ANYONE your here. 🙂 You bring your boots, I’ll bring mine!

    • rachvb says:

      Deal … although I think we should do this in the desert, not Texas (meaning you need to come here instead)

  3. Angella says:

    what a fabulous thing, to disappear into a spirit journey, but with that one sweet thread, a text to pat with one word, “walkabout.”

    i confess i too am very jealous of the kind of freedom some people have; also the kind of beauty; the kind of bravery; the kind of smarts. i would never dream of interrupting your jealous fantasies as i certainly have my own!

    and i love that you’re pictures are larger now!

    • rachvb says:

      He says stuff like this and I just know the reason we’ve been together so long. And he could do the same exact thing “walkabout” and could disappear. We know the other will come back.

      You have the beauty, bravery and smarts. I think we all want more freedom. At least those of us that aren’t billionaire movie stars that can take 9 months off of work whenever we feel like it! I had to design a travel section today of a sunset beach in Zipolite, Mexico. The sun was setting behind huge mountain peaks and a lone swimmer was silhouetted in the water watching it all. It was TORTURE!!!! I could disappear there for a while 😉 See you there, maybe?!

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