What we do seems so unnatural

Yesterday, I watched women smoking in the rain under a pine tree. Sitting and standing around a red park bench, their smoke trailing up in fingers; rain intermittently falling down like a leaky roof. I realized addiction takes a lot of commitment. When you think you need something you’ll put your body through so much discomfort. All for a taste.
People are addicted to so many things. Why is that? Cigarettes, exercise, heroin, Vicodin, love, sex, alcohol, cutting. Nothing in excess is ever good for you – not even too many strawberries. Yet, we’ll eat ourselves sick for the small moments when it feels good. And those small moments are so enigmatic, so wondrous, so freeing we almost wish they were reality. Which is why we go back again and again no matter how we feel the next hour, the next morning.
God, we are incredibly flawed beings. We have so much purpose we get lost in the potential. Sometimes I wish I were a humming bird or bee – to wake up knowing I had one goal, one job in the world: collecting nectar.

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4 Responses to What we do seems so unnatural

  1. angella lister says:

    this is so profound. addiction takes commitment. yes, it would be wonderful to have a singular unwavering purpose; for all this emotion that blindsides us to be irrelevant. but then, if you were a bee, we would not have this wonderful searing writing you do. so. there’s that.

    • rachvb says:

      That has crossed my mind, yes, if I were a bee I would certainly miss out on the joys of being human. But I wouldn’t know, would I =) There’s not a damn thing I can do about that anyway…
      Why does our society make it so difficult to find our purpose? I always wonder that. What would we do if we knew we could “support ourselves” no matter what?
      It might also be very dull to do one thing for the rest of your life? We have choices at least, THOUSANDS of choices!

  2. Once upon a time, being able to type well was all it took to find a job anywhere for as long as you wanted to be there. I can’t say it was a purpose but it was employment. This is not meant to be simplistic; I think our true purpose is to be as fully, authentically us as we can. The details will follow. xo

    • rachvb says:

      I read something recently that wondered if we have too much time on our hands these days to over analyze our lives and what we are doing with them. It’s not enough anymore to provide, have a job, maintain a family. People are always looking for something more – I wonder why that is? What’s changed? I like your idea of purpose. It’s certainly something we have to learn, work toward. Keeping that in mind is a good place to start. xo

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