To be held

I had a small moment today, driving home pitch black, where a sigh left my body in a whimper. I became a small girl filled with so much adult sadness. I miss her today and that’s all – no there’s more than that. I’m sorry she can’t see what I see. I’m sorry she’s scared. I’m sorry she hurt me. I’ve cried 5 times today – make that 6. There are good days and bad days, pat says. The sky was perfect today like I asked it. I held a baby and she cried in my arms – how reassuring it I to know her mother is in the room – one short pass to safety.
What do you want? Seriously? Because I gave it and would give and give myself until you were full. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me? Maybe that’s what’s wrong with you. Every open window, every moon – start running run until you can’t see the mess behind you run.

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