Still waiting. Still walking

Today is my last day at work. The only thing I can equate it to is the last day of school, but with bills and adulthood and, like, still having to face labor and not getting to sleep in.
Yesterday, I went to the doctor and I’m already 4cm and I haven’t had to do anything (other than make a baby the last 9 months), but she said some women would kill to be 4cm to start. My belly is a little sore today. Gross things are happening. Pregnancy is just gross and the gross names they give to different occurrences don’t help: mucus plug, bloody show, colostrum, meconium… I could go on. But I won’t because it’s gross.
I was getting anxious and now I’m just being patient. A few nights ago, I woke up at 4 in the morning paranoid that the baby wasn’t moving and I’d gotten this far and something horrible would happen and how awful it is for women who carry their children and have to labor a still born baby. Seriously, this is what 4am does to people. This is why I hate 4 am. It has no business existing in the time line. Baby O has never moved a whole lot at night. I think he/she sleeps when I sleep. There was absolutely no reason I needed to worry, but I did and so I poked my belly until I woke the baby up. Completely. Not just a little bump, but I woke the baby up to where it was kicking me in the ribs again and punching my cervix. And then I couldn’t sleep because I woke the baby up. And then I had to pee. And then I was starving and had to eat a snack.
I’m actually not anxious anymore. I’m going to keep walking. Today is my last day of work and I’ll get to nest a little (maybe) and pick up the apartment. My mom said when she was in labor with me (or maybe a few days before, I’m not sure) she was painting their house. Yup. That sounds about right. That sounds like my mom.

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