Phoenix, we are moving to Phoenix

…Thank you, Marylinn =)

I had the day off yesterday by accident. We are working these god awful night shifts and a little scheduling mishap rewarded me with A FULL DAY OFF FOR NO REASON. I’ll have to make it up eventually, but maybe no one will notice and by the time they do I’ll be gone.
I had grand ideas of writing the day away, but even before I woke up I was thinking of the things I could start boxing, packing away and so that’s what I did the entire day. I destroyed the flow and decor of our house. Pictures came down, movies and books were stacked in boxes that have been with me for two three moves thus far and are starting to feel a little weak and wobbly. They are tired, I’m sure, as my poor cat is tired of shuffling our life around. I brought out the packing tape, that SCREEETCH noise and she was gone. Hell no I won’t go. She’ll be alright, my little American traveler. I take no blame in making her crazy and anti-social – right.
I started emptying shelves, made a few salvation army runs. We are getting rid of everything except our couch, bed, TV and table and yet I’m completely surrounded by stuff. I found a receipt from an eye appointment from two years ago – why the hell did I keep that?! Old magazines with recipes I fell in love with and have not once made; two teapots; 3 ways to make coffee: French Press, AeroPress, Drip; hair ties I have no use for with short hair; dollar store facial kits; thousands of poem drafts I’m too afraid to throw away – it goes on.
Moving is a pain in the ass; one giant purge for good and bad. I’ve gotten rid of things before and found out I needed them later, but I’ve survived. How much stuff do we really need anyway?
Love and a journal.
Yesterday, it all became very real. For months, my imagination has been bent toward moving, but it’s all very dream-like: I have no idea what I’m really getting in to. I have no knowledge of this city, its perks, its nuances. My only experience comes with the airport and a wedding that happened 6 or so years ago. I’m learning what I can without actually being there – the internet is a strange being. I’m making a mental list of everything I need to do:
Rent U-Haul
Transfer water, gas, electricity bill to landlord
Change of address form to the post office
Change address with bank
Change address with every other institution that needs to know where I live
Make last doctor’s appointment
Dentist appointment
Eye appointment
Tula appointment
Therapy appointment
Cancel internet
Renew car registration before it expires
Check into COBRA
Oh Pack
Put Table, washing machine on Craig’s list
Change every magazine subscription

I’m sure there’s more, but I’m getting stressed just thinking about it.
Moving sucks. And it’s crazy expensive and I don’t know why I keep doing it over such crazy distances, but I do. I am insanely excited and terribly sad. It doesn’t hit you until the packing – the realization that something is ending. I’ve been here for 5 years, hard years, rewarding years, anxious years. I know I have changed and what I will bring with me internally is still unknown. I know I’m tired of being sad, but there’s no way around this. We are leaving friends, loves, jobs, lilac trees, iris bulbs, cardinals. I’m soaking in as much of this house as I can. I’m stopping a lot and looking around. This will never be here again as it was. I want to take it with me.

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