Periodic table of waiting

I’m feeling sort of lonely and weepy minus the tears and desperately wanting some event, any life changing event to knock on my door and change my direction. Nothing bad, but an opportunity. A job, a person, an experience, a will. I’m bored. Mind blank and scouring the internet for my next big thing. But maybe it doesn’t work that way? I don’t know. What I know of past experiences is they tend to happen when they happen. I’ve turned down a few because they didn’t feel right, but I’m beginning to wonder if anything will come. How much do we have to push? How much do we have to wait? And in those two elements is there some chemical reaction, some formula, perfect gravity for the catalyst to finally explode and produce change?

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