Monday is like any other day

I’m supposed to be writing something for work, but I’m writing this instead. I’ve felt a lot of things already today. Another high, deep love. I’ve almost finished another one and I even cried after it had settled. I cried a drip drop because this morning I was just so damn happy to be doing what I was doing and I fell in love with it all over again, despite all the shit it puts me through. My day could have been complete already and I was only 2 hours out of a dream.

And then I felt patience for the cars, the stupid cars, the stupid cold, but my blood was warm and my current strong and I sent a letter to winter and he must have heard me because the moment my ride showed up, Pat’s car started and he said how much he loved me and I knew it I knew it I knew it that he did/does because I saw it in him the way you know something to be true.

And then I felt the words of blogland, all the beautiful words out there. Sadness and hope and love and need. And sadness because I won’t be able to see my sistercousin anymore in LA because she can’t get time off of work, she can’t get enough time and I hate work and time. But I love her.

I used to not feel so many things, so much, so often, so heavily, but then I also wasn’t writing everyday. I tuned it out, ignored it until I burst open. Sometimes I wonder if this is normal, if normal people feel everything all day, all the time. It can be heavy and wonderful at the same time. It can be a burden and it can set me free, stitch me wings.

Being this is not easy. But neither is being a woman or a human. I wonder if this is the light and the dark, the yin and the yang, the sweet and the salt? I wonder if I need both the be either or one?

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