I used to care, but now I have pills for that

Pat made eggs for breakfast and the steam sucks to my glasses. It’s raining this morning and the cars drive over it with such haste. I’ve been watching an orange porch light all morning. A false moon in the dark vellum air. But when I looked away for an instant and then back it’s gone.

The mornings are darker, the nights are lighter. I’m much too anxious for my own good.

The other day, I saw a bumper sticker on a woman’s car as she was picking up her toddler from Catholic school and it said “I used to care, but now I have pills for that.” It was funny at the time and I laughed. Actually I thought my friend was saying it about something in her life until I read it on the car in front of us. The car she was reading from.

But now when I think about it it makes me wonder how many people are walking around not caring or feeling anything because they can’t or won’t or don’t want to? I know – sometimes I don’t like feeling things either, especially my own things or other things or a shark’s things as I’m watching it dissected on a nature show. Sometimes the world is just too full of things.

Pat, there’s an eggshell in my eggs.

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2 Responses to I used to care, but now I have pills for that

  1. i think the bumper sticker is pretty funny. i often think i would like to take a pill, my brain won’t turn off from thinking worrying caring too much. but maybe that just means we’re alive.

    • rachvb says:

      I suppose there are many parts to caring. Caring too much, not caring enough, caring about things you should be caring about. I sometimes wish I could “turn it off” too. But what if I couldn’t get it back?!
      I think you’re right – I think it just means we are alive. The majority of us anyway. I hate to think of the people who turn it off all the time.

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