Back at the ranch

This morning, I opened a bill that came yesterday. From the ob-gyn. An ultrasound I had about 2 or 3 months ago that I’ve never had to pay for before, but now that our company has changed our insurance I have to pay $94 for something that used to be preventive and free. Sometimes money obnoxiously blares into your life like a neon sign at night. Sometimes you feel it rough around your body, the fear of not having enough, the worry of needing a system that can’t support you. And I’m a lucky one. $94 that I have to pay and insurance pays the other $300. I had a surgery a couple years ago that I didn’t have to pay a single dime for, back when the company had better insurance and when I got the bill to see how much it actually was -hospital time, private room, doctors and anesthesia and IVs: $32,000 – I wondered how anyone could afford that? How could someone without insurance afford that?! And what would they do, just not have it? That’s what I would have done. Just not have it. There’s no way.

I’ve had ovarian cysts, no, no it wasn’t a baby ultrasound, but I was having pain in my abdomen and so naturally I went to the doctor to make sure my body was OK, but now that I know it cost $94 for them to wade around with a white magic whale wand and take pictures it makes it hard to want to go back for stuff like that again. Which makes me pissed at my company for changing our insurance to make it cheaper for them, for not giving us adequate to no raises, for firing employees and making those who’ve stayed, work harder with less.  I wonder if they saw this if I would get a “talking to”? But I don’t really care. I win them awards every year and do a damn good job at my job. It doesn’t matter anyway, all the big-wigs are in Italy on a two-week free paid vacation with big advertisers drinking wine and staying at ***** hotels on the sea and doing Italian things with their guest who also got to go for free on the company. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I can’t even get poked in the jay-jay for free.

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