a no skin day

How do we digest all of this? Elation and sadness, reflection and triumph. I feel uneasy. I feel a mound in my chest that I can’t spit up or swallow. I feel like people have already moved on. One girl on facebook said just that, “Moving on to more important things, I got my BRITNEY TICKETS!” And then I heard someone else say, Osama Bin Laden, 2011 winner of the longest game of hide and seek.
I stood in line for a sandwich, a long long line and no one seemed any different. The sky gray, roast beef in the air, I don’t remember if there was music playing inside or not, but The Wizard of Oz was everywhere. On cards, the song keeps playing over and over in  my head because people have already said it. “Ding Dong” and I can’t get it out of my head. Last night, falling asleep I jolted awake for no reason. You know the lull right as you drift off, the jerks of an arm or a leg, but this was a full body jolt. I don’t even remember thinking about falling or dreaming about falling, but my whole body jumped  in the air.
The newsroom is quiet. Much quieter than I thought it would be. I’m not sure how to be in the world today. I went out as much as I could, but nothing seems any different and I don’t know how that’s possible.  My landlord asked for my rent check like nothing was new. And that’s how it happens, the world doesn’t even stop for one breath of air. It just keeps spinning and changing without even knowing where to go from here.

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