Reinvent Reinvent

We went to NYC yesterday and I slept with it on my skin. Had red-light dreams and green-light dreams and smell like pigeons and people and musty subway smell. I like the subway smell, except when it smells like pee. I love the gear smell and the rushing smell and the dirt smell, the must of an old underground city.

We saw Picasso at the Met. How one man can reinvent his art so many times throughout his life inspired me. Who says we can’t change? Who says we can’t do the things unexpected of us? Who says we have to stay within the lines and cubes of one style our entire lives? Who says?

I’m dizzy today. Maybe because I haven’t eaten anything. I’m only buzzed with strong coffee. I slept all the way home last night. I slept in. I still feel half-dreamed. I love this state between awake and dreaming. I love it.

I wish all my days could be this way. Writing for hours, staring out at a green tree from the open door, being cooled by the breeze and the clouds blocking out the sun. I wish they could always be this calm.

I’ll collect this. Sway in the happiness. Curl up in it like fleece. These are the important days. Bad things happen so quickly that days like today must be collected in a jar and placed on the top shelf.

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2 Responses to Reinvent Reinvent

  1. Hi Rachel – ah, thank you for transporting me to NYC again… ’tis a place I love, for all the reasons you describe here; the smells especially.

    I believe we’d be creatively well-served to ‘do the things unexpected of us.’ It’s almost a pre-requisite? At least I think so… and I think you do, too. We need to keep taking ourselves to the edges; we might not have to jump over them each time, but it behoves us at least to peer over to see what’s there? I think moments of deep discovery come when we don’t stick to the lines, when we take the surprise detour, when we open the door to the small shed at the bottom of the garden to see what’s in there. It can be scary, yes – and exhilarating, too.

    I hope you have been curling and unfurling contentedly in today’s happiness. (Keep the lid off those jars so the joys you have collected can breathe? Or make a few air holes? ; )).

    Love to you from New Zealand.
    Claire

  2. rachvb says:

    Claire,
    air holes are very important! But mostly I think I’ll let the lids wide open. So whatever wants to fall, escape, crawl into my jars can come and go as it pleases.
    Here’s to peering over the edges of ourselves. I’ve always loved to explore. May you find new discoveries as well in your next chapter – your birthday!
    Love to you as well from The States.
    I’ll be putting up some pictures of the city soon.
    xo
    Rachel

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