155 beats per minute

A dead cat lay on the sidewalk this morning, dangerously close to the street, not that it matters anymore. It’s body almost sunning itself and I would have believed that if it weren’t for the gaping, red mouth pulled unnaturally open, broken. Was it hit last night? This morning? The neighborhood on the other side of 7th avenue is teeming with cats. I’m not sure if anyone owns them or if they are all strays or outside cats gangs running around while their owners are sleeping. Either way, I wondered how the cat ended up in that position? If someone hit it, pulled over and picked up the mass, placing it gingerly on the sidewalk. Or more likely, if someone hit it, kept driving and the cat laid itself down in a safe place to die.
I thought about those kids adults claim to be fascinated with death, who take pictures of dead birds and rabbits and cats. Who draw pictures like in the movie “Chocolate” with Juliette Binoche of ravens with broken necks, the harsh angles, the blood. I would have gone over to the cat, not because I’m fascinated with death, I’m not really at all, but because these are things we turn away from, these are things that happen because of life and the details: the angles of the head, the light that morning, wether the ants have found the body or not helps us live better lives. It gives the budding being inside me greater purpose; the kicks feel stronger. It’s a miracle that every intricate organ it needs has found its place. I didn’t dare go look at that cat.

On Monday, we had another ultrasound. A 16 week anatomy scan that they usually do at 18-20 weeks, but because of some heart issues in both of our families, they wanted to do it early. (Although I was 16 weeks 6 days). We saw the brain, the kidneys, the eyes, the diaphragm even; ten toes, ten fingers, calf bones, stomach, the heart pumping blood in and out at 155 bmp. We saw it all and a beautiful nasal bone in baby’s beautiful face and everything was/is perfect.

Baby knees on the right with legs and ankles crossed. Modest baby!

Baby knees on the right with legs and ankles crossed. Modest baby!

Baby O. foot

Baby O. foot

Baby O. heart. Blue is blood leaving the heart, red is blood entering

Baby O. heart. Blue is blood leaving the heart, red is blood entering

Baby O. foot and leg

Baby O. foot and leg

Baby O. nasal bone

Baby O. nasal bone

Baby O. profile

Baby O. profile

Baby Brain! In the 70th Percentile, so super smart right?!

Baby Brain! In the 70th Percentile, so super smart right?!

The only hiccup so far is I have placenta previa where the placenta has attached itself over my cervix. It’s fairly common in the early months and will normally mosey on up as my uterus gets bigger. Hopefully, that’s the case. In the meantime I’m on pelvic rest which sounds very chaste and creepy and basically means my life is about to get a whole lot of boring for the next month and a half. No sex, orgasms, lifting and very light exercise. So I’ll have to cancel all the pornos I’ve been scheduled to film and watch a lot of undercover bosses which has no sex appeal what so ever. For the good of the baby! *cough-cock-blocker-cough*

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2 Responses to 155 beats per minute

  1. Ms. Moon says:

    Okay. I am going to be Ms. Buttinsky here. I do not think that the safety of ultrasounds has been proven. One here or there- sure. But not over and over again until birth. I know I may be paranoid but I also see the huge rise in autism and other spectrum disorders as the number of prenatal ultrasounds also rises. It is wonderful to know that your baby has a heart which is working as it should, that it has feet and a brain. It is literally wonder-full.
    But. If there is no real need for more…I would turn them down.
    And they’re not very good at diagnosing size with them. I have seen over and over how ultrasounds “show” that a baby is this size or that before delivery, using that as a reason to induce labor and then the baby comes and is nowhere near that size.
    Are you reading any of Ina May Gaskin’s books?
    And if you’d like me to shut up now, I most certainly will. YOU are the mother of this baby. No one else.

    • rachelvb says:

      I hear ya, Mary! Normally, they only give you two or three the entire pregnancy. I think they are being cautious with the heart stuff and the placenta stuff. That can be especially bad if the placenta doesn’t move in the next couple of months and especially in the late terms of my pregnancy. If it doesn’t, I could be on bed rest, there’s a chance of early labor or bleeding and I’d have to have a C-section because birth with placenta previa can cause massive bleeding and be really risky. So, that’s why they are doing the next one in a month and a half … to make sure the placenta has moved out the way! Believe me, they are pricey pictures. I wouldn’t do them just because. Plus, I’m starting to feel baby kick more, so I know it’s in there =) xoxo

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